there are so many dad stereotypes out there. Perpetuated by popular culture, the dad in the sitcom is usually clueless, clumsy or the story point. How many times have we seen the episode where the dad forgets an important date and the entire show/movie revolves around him finding the perfect gift and by the end of the show somehow comes through? More than I would like to count. Dads get a bad rap.
Except when they perpetuate the stereotype. I myself have been guilty at least once (newmom insists it was more than once, but I am not really sure) of forgetting an important date, which if you know me, is out of character. I usually am pretty good about remembering birthdays and anniversaries.
Newmom’s birthday was this week and I was accused of the classic sitcom dad move of forgetting. HOWEVER, as I was walking out the door in the morning, when newmom was still wrapped up in the covers I said “happy birthday baby, I love you.” I got a ‘mmm-hmmm’ along with a snuggle with the covers and I was off. I called her in between meetings at work to wish her happy birthday again and see how her morning was going. She thinks I forgot and remembered during the morning. I promise I was not a sitcom dad this year!
Another stereotype we dads have to fight against is that we are TERRIBLE gifters. What I mean is we pick poorly. I think just about very guy who has ever given a gift has missed the mark on occasion. This is where I am totally…
I have been on a real losing streak when it comes to giving gifts. Birthday, Anniversary, Christmas, I have just been missing the mark. Newmom has told me “it’s because you just don’t care anymore, you don’t have to work at it anymore(giving good gifts)”. Now early in our courtship and marriage I rocked at giving gifts. I used to pay attention to what she was looking at in stores, noticed trends in color palates that she liked, really paid attention.
I have become that cliché. The bad gift giving husband. And I am guilty of what I was accused of (to an extent). She was right, I wasn’t trying. This is where I implore all dads out there. DON’T BECOME THAT CLICHE’. Take the time to watch what she picks up and looks at. Spend a second staring at her dresser and take note of what fragrances she wears (if that is her thing). Check a tag or two and find out what size she wears. The other advice I can give is surprise her. Gift cards to her favorite places is the easy way out. Make the effort to get her something that will show you made the effort (you may be rewarded for those efforts later!)
So this year I was not going to be that dad. I am happy to report that I was not. She totally loved the gifts we (the little guy and I) got her. I hope I am getting that gifting mojo back that I had before. I know I will find it again. I hated to be told that I didn’t care and realizing that statement was partially right.