I become a cliché’ (Dads, pay attention)

Tags

Bad Dads, Bad gifts, Cliche, GUILTY, pay attention, Perpetuating the Stereotype, Sitcom Dads, Stereotypes

there are so many dad stereotypes out there.  Perpetuated by popular culture, the dad in the sitcom is usually clueless, clumsy or the story point.  How many times have we seen the episode where the dad forgets an important date and the entire show/movie revolves around him finding the perfect gift and by the end of the show somehow comes through?  More than I would like to count.  Dads get a bad rap.

Except when they perpetuate the stereotype.   I myself have been guilty at least once (newmom insists it was more than once, but I am not really sure) of forgetting an important date, which if you know me, is out of character. I usually am pretty good about remembering birthdays and anniversaries.

Newmom’s birthday was this week and I was accused of the classic sitcom dad move of forgetting.  HOWEVER, as I was walking out the door in the morning, when newmom was still wrapped up in the covers I said “happy birthday baby, I love you.” I got a ‘mmm-hmmm’ along with a snuggle with the covers and I was off.  I called her in between meetings at work to wish her happy birthday again and see how her morning was going. She thinks I forgot and remembered during the morning. I promise I was not a sitcom dad this year!

Another stereotype we dads have to fight against is that we are TERRIBLE gifters.  What I mean is we pick poorly.  I think just about very guy who has ever given a gift has missed the mark on occasion.  This is where I am totally…

I have been on a real losing streak when it comes to giving gifts. Birthday, Anniversary, Christmas, I have just been missing the mark.  Newmom has told me “it’s because you just don’t care anymore, you don’t have to work at it anymore(giving good gifts)”. Now early in our courtship and marriage I rocked at giving gifts.  I used to pay attention to what she was looking at in stores, noticed trends in color palates that she liked, really paid attention.

I have become that cliché.  The bad gift giving husband.  And I am guilty of what I was accused of (to an extent). She was right, I wasn’t trying. This is where I implore all dads out there. DON’T BECOME THAT CLICHE’.  Take the time to watch what she picks up and looks at. Spend a second staring at her dresser and take note of what fragrances she wears (if that is her thing).  Check a tag or two and find out what size she wears.  The other advice I can give is surprise her. Gift cards to her favorite places is the easy way out. Make the effort to get her something that will show you made the effort (you may be rewarded for those efforts later!)

So this year I was not going to be that dad. I am happy to report that I was not.  She totally loved the gifts we (the little guy and I) got her. I hope I am getting that gifting mojo back that I had before. I know I will find it again. I hated to be told that I didn’t care and realizing that statement was partially right. 

 

And now, Second Grade!!

Tags

first day of school, It goes too fast!, parenting advice, Pictures, Second Grade, time, Woodbury Elementary

Ever since the day newmom and I announced we were going to be parents, there has been advice.  My favorite was from an old friend who I don’t see very often anymore who has two grown sons of his own: “my advice to you is to not listen to anyone’s advice. Everyone’s experience is unique.”  Truer words have never been spoken!

Now, the advice that I have heard the most, and I have often restated myself (to others and in these posts) is this:  ‘Enjoy every moment, because they go by so fast and you will never get them back’.  This is a universal truth.  Newmom made a great observation to me some time ago when she said “how come days feel like they drag on for an eternity, but you blink and a month has gone by?”

This leads to the main subject of this post. Well it seems we blinked again, because our little guy is now a SECOND GRADER!!!  Yup. School has started again. The Little man is entering a brave new world with a new set of classmates (some old friends, some new) new routines and a brand new teacher.

I just wrote about the life of a year round school family. Our summer was full of adventures and activities (I will write about those SOON, I promise), but before we knew it, we were anxiously awaiting our welcome e-mails and supply lists for second grade.  And sure enough, they came.  Of course as soon as the classroom assignments were published the texts and calls to friends were sent “Who’s class is your son or daughter in?”, “Oh! We’re in that class too!”, “Oh no! We are in this class instead.”. Shopping was done for school supplies and some nice new shirts and we were ready.

The evenings leading up to first day we attempted to adjust to a more rigid set bedtime.  A little earlier every night until we got to the sweet spot. Although he’s a kid, getting him to bed ANYTIME can be challenging!

I have been there for his first day of Kindergarten, First grade and now Second Grade. I do not plan on missing a single year (if possible).  Alarms that have been silent over the past 40 days went off (too early!) lunch was packed, new clothes put on and supplies put in the Backpack.  We were OFF!!

We bought a chalk board with the “First day of (Fill in the year)” a couple years ago and updated it for the obligatory first day photos.  First day photos are something new to me. When I was going to school I don’t remember anything like that. Definitely something more recent (but it has been a WHILE since I was in school!!) and I think everyone’s social media feeds are flooded with them every fall. It is amazing to see how much they change from year to year and I feel very lucky that we will have this great visual record!

 

After a few pics we took a short walk to the playground for line up.  We found our designated line and net some of the other parents. Newmom takes the little guy to school quite often so she knew a lot of the parents from previous classes. We then got the opportunity to meet his new teacher, Mrs. Marchese.  Now I grew up with a Marchese family down the street so I had to has, but it turns out there is no relation and she actually pronounces it differently (MAR-Cay-Zee) than the family down the road did (Mar-Cheese-ee).

 

After the teacher introduced herself to each student and family, it was time for the kids to go in.  I will never get used to watching him walk away.  I do have to admit, I can be a big softy sometimes, and will admit that there were a few tears in years past, but this was the first year that I was not completely choked up.

Showin’ some ‘tude!!

First day will always be a special day and I hope to be able to write about them for the years to come.  As I mentioned before, we have the first day pics, here are a couple from the previous years…

First Grade!!!

Kindergarten!!!

Dads, remember the advice, not the first bit (still VERY TRUE) but it goes so fast. As our list of firsts gets shorter and shorter, there are only a limited number of first days of school, try not to miss them. I am so thankful I have been there for all of them so far. And if I do have tears on future first days, I won’t be afraid to admit it!

‘It’s over already, seriously?’ The life of year round school kids.

Tags

FOMO, Pros and Cons, Summer Break, Summer Break Brain, unfair?, Vacation Bible School, Year round school

Oh the Joys of summer vacation.  I have fond memories of playing with friends all day long. Riding bikes until dark. Trips to the pool.  Camps (vacation bible school, Vinton County Camp) and a good 2+ months off from school.

The community we live in has a school that participates in a year round schedule.  The kids go to school the same number of days, their breaks are just not in alignment with the other schools that observe a more traditional schedule, with a longer summer break.  new mom and I are often asked how we like it.  I have to say I don’t know, we really haven’t known anything else, the little guy has attended this school since his first day of Kindergarten.

This year was a little longer. The summer break was 40 days. he finished on June 7 and started again this past week on July 17 (a post on this will come soon!).  We got an extra week this year, last year I think it was closer to 35 days. So it seems like it is over just as it is getting started, and to be honest, that feeling is not far from reality.

So here are some pros and cons to a year round schedule:

CON: SUPER SHORT SUMMER. I was telling my Aunt in Florida that the little guy was getting ready to start school again and she said ‘Oh that’s crap! Kids should have a summer’. There are many people I have spoken to that feel the same way.  A traditional schedule and he wouldn’t be going back until late August, almost a full month out from now.

PRO: Less ‘Summer break brain’. Having a shorter break means that there is less ‘summer break brain’ loss.  Forgetting some of the basics, We all experienced it when we had longer breaks. I will never forget going back one year and forgetting how to start a new paragraph (indent you moron!) so I just set the next line completely blank and started the next paragraph on the next line.  So there is shorter time for those skills to atrophy and not as long to get back in the saddle.

CON: Missing out when your friends and cousins aren’t on the same schedule. This really fits in with the first con, short summer break.  Definitely miss out when invited to do something (go to the pool, have a sleep-over, go to an amusement park) we have to politely decline because ‘that’s a school night’ or ‘ he has school that day’.

PRO: THE EXTENDED BREAKS the rest of the year.  We get longer for every major break. At the end of September we will have a three week break that will bleed into October.  This is during non peak times so we have good opportunities to go places with out crowds and for off season rates.

CON: Missed not one but TWO Vacation bible schools. OK, to many, many people this is a ‘so what’ moment. But we miss the opportunity for the little guy to learn about faith and the message in a format customized for kids to make learning fun and the message age appropriate. For the past few years he has gone to the VBS at both our church and NewMoms parents church.  This year he missed BOTH opportunities.

This list goes on and on. There are many pros and probably just as many cons.  I do lament over the fact that the little guy does miss out on certain things, but I am glad to see he is not missing a beat as he returns to the classroom.

We did our best to make sure he had a fulfilling break, not too busy but not without anything to do. Watch for new posts this week about our very busy summer (camp camp and more camp) and the triumphant return to Woodbury as a SECOND GRADER!!!

 

What are your favorite Summer break memories? Please comment and share.

More coming soon

The stories behind these pictures

Stay tuned.

PS I am for reals running a 5k this weekend.

300- Another Milestone! (sprinkled with a little disappointment)

Tags

300, blogging, disappointment, goals, milestones, Romans 5:3-5, Stats

Recently I wrote this about hitting a couple of big milestones in 2019. Well today is the day I hit the 300th post to this blog.

   

I started it just a bit over seven years ago. I have enjoyed every one of them. sharing observations, giving reviews and just sharing stories. I am over the moon to reach this milestone.

I am a business system analyst when I am not trying to be a good father and husband. So naturally I wanted to analyze the time it took to get here.  So did a few calculations:

•  I started the blog on February 20th, 2012.  I hit 100 posts on July 19 of that same year, 4 months and 29 days. It only took my 150 days to get to 100.
• I then hit 200 on July 6 2014. That is 1 year, 11 months and 17 days later.  Quite a difference.
• Then from there it has taken me 4 years, 8 months and 13 days to get here (300). YIKES!

I looked at the numbers year to year. I had a couple of REALLY lean years. I think I only made 4 posts for all of 2016.  When you compare it to over 100 posts in the first 5 months, I think It is a miracle I stuck with it.  I realize that when I started EVERYTHING was a first.  I wrote about each one. So as time wore on, there are fewer and fewer new moments to write about. As I wrote in previous post and mentioned in the title of this post, I am a little disappointed that I did not stick with it.  But I will not let that disappointment linger, but rather will remember it when I feeling like I don’t have anything to write or want to take the time to write.

I really love to write. I love to share and someday I hope that the little guy, when he is not so little will be able to sit down and ready stories of his childhood from his fathers’ perspective. So I  look and try to figure out why I quit.  There are a lot of excuses but very few reasons.  To be honest I really don’t know. I just know that I am happy that I chose to not quit or give up, and found the perseverance to continue to write. Paul writes in Romans chapter 5 about perseverance building character, and character building hope (verses 3-5).  The hope I carry is that I will continue to do this for many, many more posts.

The next milestones I hope to accomplish here are to hit 10K views and continue to build a readership through follows to the blog.  I know the only way to do this is to continue to write. I joked with another blogger (who unfortunately has ‘retired’) that “the way to build readership is to provide content? Who Knew?” Well, I do and I will continue to write and keep my goal of a minimum of 104 posts in 2019.

Here are a couple of other interesting Stats (yes, I am an analytics nerd):

1. I have already surpassed the number of views I had in all of 2018.

2. I am on track to have the 2nd highest number of views in a single year.

3. The past two years I had the same number of posts (26)

4. This is the 25th post of 2019, still on pace for a minimum of 2 a week (104)

 

To those who have been with me since Feb 2012, thank you. For those of you that have joined through this journey and stayed through those really lean periods.  And if you are just hopping aboard, welcome. Be sure to follow to receive notifications of the posts to come!

 

Our little Reader

Tags

growing up, Homework, Parental Tactical Advantage, reading, Sight Words, spelling, Voice Change

The little guy is changing so fast right before eyes.  Tonight after dinner it was time to do homework (Spelling, Sight Words then Reading).  After ROCKING his spelling words, it was time for reading.

I got these spelling words!

So I am sitting off to the side listening to him read to new mom and it is just AMAZING as I am watching his mind just expand before my eyes (or actually in this case, ears!).  His comprehension is blowing up and he is really doing well reading more complex stories every week.

My heart fills with pride as I watch my little guy advance.  I get the pleasure of sitting and have him read to me (when it is my turn to read with him) and it is truly the highlight of my day. To watch him get through the harder words, to see him start to master inflection and tone, it is just amazing.  His little high-pitched voice is something I am going to remember forever, and I know when he starts going through the changes we all go through and his voice changes, I will long for those days where my little guy had that little voice.

OK, now there is always a Yang to the Ying. New mom and I are having a harder time talking around him and spelling out words.  Every parent knows what I am talking about:

ME: should we get a P-I-Z-Z-A for dinner

LITTLE GUY: YES! I want pizza!

NEW MOM: I guess we are having pizza…

or:

NEW MOM: Should we try to go to the P-A-R-K?

LITTLE GUY: I want to go to the park! Lets go now! I’ll get my shoes!

ME: Should we take our baseball gloves?

So we are losing that very important Parental Tactical Advantage. Obviously with more complex words, we have that going for us, but he is getting smarter by the day! And as he gets older, we seem to be losing more and more of those advantages.

I remember being a voracious reader as a child. I loved to read. I still do, I just don’t make the time to do it as often as I probably should or want to.  I always want to set a good example (as often as possible) as a dad, so I should probably stop watching TV, put down the phone and pick up a book. Because as we know, ‘monkey see, monkey do’.

How do you encourage your children to read? How do you encourage yourself to read?

 

A beautiful end to the day…

Tags

end oft he day, Gods gifts, sunset

I was driving yesterday in the evening and was treated to this beautiful site.

We have been treated to quite a bit of rain. and the clouds have been AMAZING…

(Please note I was at a RED light when I took this picture!!!)

Truly an amazing sight, a perfect way to close out the day. A gift from God.

 

 

 

The drive to 10,000

Tags

10000, 300, 7 years, anniversary, blogging, Dad, lazy, milestones

I started this blog seven years ago! Wow, that seems like a really long time, but it is true. On Feb 20th, 2012 I published my first post.  So much has changed in that time.  The first year of the blog was by far the busiest and most productive. As time passed, the number of firsts started to dwindle and as always, life got in the way, keeping me from publishing.  I was looking at the stats and in the first year I published 144 posts!  Almost half of the total posts (you can see the drastic drop off in productivity).

When I started the blog I was also running a lot more ( a WHOLE LOT more). So there were posts about running and events I participated in. Those have dropped off in the past few years but I hope to change that in 2019.

This post is not about running, this is about the blogging itself. You see I am approaching a couple of milestones that I think are pretty big. Sometime in the next couple months I will hit 10,000 views! Sometime in the next few weeks, I will hit my 300th post! I am not going to lie, I would have thought I would have hit both of those quite some time ago, and when I look back at that first year, I feel a pang of disappointment.  Disappointment that I did not stay as focused as I was in the beginning.  That I let myself miss so many opportunities to post about some amazing things.  Also a little disappointment as I know how much better I feel when I write. Sometimes I just get to vent about something, anything. It is a stress reliever.

But I have to stop as well.  I have to stop and evaluate as to why these are important to me? The milestone I mean. I know some of it is total ego and pride.  But then I look at some of the other Blogs I read semi regularly and I see that they have hundreds, thousands of followers and I realize I have a loooong way to go. But I also realize these bloggers are posting new material on a regular basis, some of them even daily. You get from it what you put into it.  And the fact is I have not been putting into it.  I set a goal for 2019 for 104 posts, two a week and I am on pace for that. If I can maintain that pace (or even exceed it) it will be the 2nd highest number of posts I will publish in a year.

I also think back to the reason I started the blog. it was because I was an expecting father for the very first time and I wanted to both share and record the experiences that come with being a first time parent.  I hope that I am not now starting to have a little narcissism creep in and just become so focused on the numbers that I forget the true spirit of the blog. I try to keep a fathers perspective in the posts. This is as much as it is for me as it is for our little guy, who one day will read this and know what was going on in my head, in the world around us from his fathers eyes.

I am looking forward to reaching these milestones ahead, and setting new, higher goals after these have been reached.  If I keep pace of 104 for the year, I will finish 2019 just a touch under 400 posts.  I have no idea how many visits but a part of my hopes it is an impressive number that shatters my first year!!

If you like this post, I encourage you to visit my past posts and follow this blog. Another goal I have is to build a regular reader base, and by following you are helping me reach my goals!

Goals for 2019

Tags

2019, failure, goals, resolutions, writing

Goals, resolutions, commitments. We all have set them at one time or another in our lives.  I remember when I had a gym membership how ridiculously full the parking lots got every January, only to be thinned out by the second week of February.  You hear the stats on how often new years resolutions fall to the wayside so quickly.  We have all gotten frustrated as weight hasn’t dropped off, or not been able to run or bike as far as we would like, or lift the weight and developed the physique we wanted to.

So what do so many of us do?  We quit. Why? Because it’s easy. Easy to throw up our hands, make excuses, say “well, most people fail at resolutions, so I don’t feel as bad”.

I am VERY guilty of this.  I can’t tell you how many years I have tapped out by mid February.

I have been thinking long and hard about goals for 2019. I have come up with a short list of them. I won’t share them all here, but I can and will share a couple.

1. Run.  I want to run at least six(6) races/events this year.  As I mentioned in recent posts, my nephew has really started to take a liking to running, so my goal is to be able to run a 10K strong with him, not a 30%run/70%walk but a STRONG run.  This will take dedication to train. I have found it much easier to train when you are registered for events, so I believe the secret to achieving this goal is to register for events throughout the year, time to check the Renegade racing calendar!!!
2. Write.  I really enjoy writing. I promise I do.  So what makes me come to a complete stop? I get on these tears where I write for a week or two then I come to screeching halt.  When I was in Arizona for family earlier this month, a few people told me they really enjoy the blog and say they go on just to see if there is new content.  That alone should be enough motivation to write, or you would think.  I also feel better when I write. I suppose it is because I am able to get more out of my head.  SO here is my goal. 104 blog posts in 2019. That is writing twice a week. If I start a short series, I could bust out five in a week (ok, lets not get too crazy, lets just shoot for 104).
3. The classic “get healthier”. this one is tough. but having a 6 (soon to be 7) year old is the motivation I need. Recently we were all watching something on television when the little guy said “that character is fat, like daddy” !!!!GUT PUNCH!!!! I don’t want to be the fat dad anymore. I already have cornered the market on the old dad.  this makes it even more difficult.  So my goal is to make small well planned steps to get healthier, slimmer and fitter. He is only going to get faster and stronger and I don’t want to be the dad who everyone has to wait on to catch up.

I feel that most people attack goals and resolutions in the wrong way. They go “all in”. We live in an instant gratification society, where we want it and we want it now.  Very often they burn themselves out and sometimes do much more harm than good. this ‘fast food’ culture drives us away from planning and puts success that much further away.

 

If I plan this right, take small steps rather than dive directly into the deep end, I have a much better chance of achieving everything I set out for, and will make 2019 the best year so far.

Have you made any resolutions/goals for 2019? Are you still on track for them even though we are still so early in the year?  Share them in the comments section.

Opening 2019

Tags

'East Coast New Years', Cotton Candy, Goodbye 2018, Rose Bowl

2019 has already been very busy with loads of adventure.

We opened with ringing in the new year with my cousin and his wife who were in California for the Rose Bowl. We celebrated a ‘East coast’ new year as they were still on East coast time.

After they left the little guy once again reminded me that I promised to build one of the last Lego sets from Christmas, so from about 11:15 through the end of 2018 we built some Jurassic Kingdom Legos.

Last Legos of 2018!!

The ball dropped in times square, kisses were given and cheers to 2019 were made. Not too long after midnight, the little guy crashed for the night. New mom and I stayed up a while longer and went bed.

We woke up on New Years morning and the decision to go to Pasadena to watch the Buckeyes play in the Rose Bowl was made.  The drive up to Pasadena has NEVER been easier. I consulted with a friend who has purchased tickets at the game many times and assured us we should not have too much difficulty.  We ran into a scalper who sold us three REALLY great seats at a REALLY great price.  So off we went.

TICKETS!!!!

At the game, the seats next to us remained empty, so at halftime, my cousin and his wife joined us. it was a great time and memories I will cherish for years to come.  The little guy seemed to enjoy himself, but I have to be honest, I think the highlight of the day for him was the cotton candy.

Look Dad, COTTON CANDY!!!

After a nail-biting 4th quarter, we saw a Ohio State victory and history, as the Urban Meyer era at Ohio State came to a close. After a long hike to the car, we had no problem getting back into traffic and on our way we went.

All in all, a fantastic way to kick off 2019!!!

The day after the game, the fun came to a stop, as it was time to head to Arizona to say goodbye to a family member. See my post Tragedy in a season of Joy.  for more information on that.