FIFTY!??!

Tags

birthday, changes, father time, FIFTY YEARS!, it judt gets better, lost plans, medical advances, milestones, pandemic ruins everything, six hundred months, strong faith, technological advances, ugly side of aging

NOTE: This post is a little late. The actual day was 3/31.

It is not the optimal time to be having a birthday, yet it happened.  Not only did I celebrate another trip around the sun, it was a milestone.

Six hundred months

2, 607 weeks

18,250 days

FIFTY YEARS.

Yes, I made it. Fifty years.  This birthday however get a little derailed by the pandemic we are all going through.  The original plan was to try to go away for a few days, the little guy was supposed to be on his spring break and the three of us were going to get away.  Obviously with everything in the world being cancelled, those plans fell through.  We will do something to celebrate this milestone later in the year, if and when we  of this and figure out what the new new normal is going to be. Although we are “quarantined” we were able to make a wonderful day of it.  We participated in the “Carry out America” and ordered to go meals and went to play in the park (while observing physical distancing).  Newmom and the little guy made a delicious cake and there were even a couple of gifts to open! All in all it was a very nice, relaxing day and under the circumstances, I could not have asked for it to be better!

So I spent some time in the days leading up to my birthday and then a couple days after reflecting on what this milestone really meant to me. What does it mean to be fifty?  Well, for one thing, if I ever participate in a run or ride again, I will be in a whole new age bracket (MOOTR and Running on Healthy, that one was for you!)! OK, now looking at it a little more deeply.  I said something to someone on my birthday and said life has just continued to get better. My 30’s were amazing, my 40’s were by far, the best decade of my life.  I just can’t wait to see what my fifties bring me.

Reigniting my faith has helped keep me feeling energized. It has definitely helped re-energize my own spirit, I have to say it has been one of the benefits I have discovered.  Being a man of faith does not mean that bad things won’t happen, that I won’t be without sin, but it means that my spirit is not weighed down the way it was before.  It may sound irrational to some, but it is my truth, whether they believe or not.

I don’t know what it is supposed to feel like, being 50.  To be honest I feels a hell of a lot like 49 did. today my cousin’s daughter celebrated her 16th birthday.  That made me feel older than turning 50 did. I have written this before but seeing kids grow up makes me feel older than my birthday does.  Like how the hell did my 2nd cousin turn 16? Oh yeah, she lived one day older than she did when she was 15 years and 365 days old (it’s a leap year people, my math is fine).

I have seen amazing leaps in technology. The boom of the digital age.  I have seen 8tracks get replaced by cassette tapes. Cassette tapes replaced by Compact Discs, digital streaming making physical media obsolete.  I have seen the rise of the Cell phone for everyone then they morphed into our own personal assistants.  I have seen advancements in joint replacements and other procedures we never thought possible not all that long ago.

My first television was a little black and white set (probably 16 inch screen) that had rabbit ears for tuning in. Now I have a flat panel television that is over 50 inches and produces more colors than my eye can comprehend.

I could go on and on and on.  There is an ugly side to all of this.  I have watched many loved ones succumb to old age. I have lost family members, friends, mentors and others that have meant so much to me to disease, accidents and just time.  What I (and so many others) wouldn’t give for one hour with those we have lost.

Now I know I too will become a victim to father time. But I don’t plan on going anytime soon and I will do what I can to make sure the time I am gifted with is spent well.

I used to play pretty hard.  I was not easy on my body and used to think with youthful abandon that I would not see 30. Now I say with aged resilience, I am going to be here forever!  And through our little guy, a part of me will be.

Here’s to my milestone. If any of you would like to send a belated gift, let me know and I will send you an address to mail it to! Scotch makes the perfect gift!!  OK, I am not 100% serious, just reading and continuing to support the blog is greatly appreciated!

 

 

 

Just waiting in line

Tags

2 hours early, costco, ignorance, long lines, paper towels., perspective, shortages, success, the new normal, toilet paper, USSR, Waiting in line

So I got up and headed straight to Costco, thinking ‘almost two hours before it opens, should be fine’.

Ha!

The line is remarkable. Goes completely around the building. There are A LOT of people on front of me and even more behind.  The look on people’s faces as they slowly drive by the line, realizing how many people are actually in it is both amusing and sad at the same time.  Surprisingly I am ok with just standing here, waiting for the store to open.  If I can secure these items, it will be a bit of a relief to both newmom and I.

the people behind me. 

the line in front of me. it turns to the left, goes down the entire side of the building, then there is a 180 degree turn and you come back up the length of the building just to get in. 

This reminds me of the pictures I used to see as a child of lines of people in front of basically empty stores in the old Soviet Union to buy basic necessities.  Being a child at the time I had no idea of what I was really looking at.  No concept of that reality these people lived in.  Now here I stand in line for paper products and maybe a couple of other items with no guarantee of success.

Amazing how perspective changes with age.  Back then I could not comprehend what I was seeing, now I feel a lot more sympathy to their plight.  To say this sort of thing is not what entire countries normal daily lives are like would be blatantly ignorant.  I am blessed to live where I do, to have the things available to me that I do and realize especially in these days that any complaining I do is useless noise.

UPDATE:  I was fortunate to be close enough to get the items I went for, Toilet paper and Paper towels.   I was starting to get a little nervous as I watched our own supply start to dwindle.  I also purchased some additional items that we needed as well.  It is definitely a relief to know that we will not be running out and will share with a couple other people who need these items as well.

SUCCESS!!!

Even as I was walking out of the store, there was still quite a line to get it. I think they were limiting the number of people coming in and out of the store, which I have been seeing in different locations (I saw this yesterday at our local grocery store).

Again, welcome to the new normal.

It’s the end of the world as we Know it (and I feel ‘better than yesterday’)

Tags

Cancellations, Corona Virus, cough, Empty Shelves, new normal, overreaction??, REM, run out of work

Wow…

 

I mean is there any other word that can explain this world we woke up in this morning?  A world that is so radically different than the one we lived in just 5 days ago.   There have been so many closures.  Sporting events, seasons put on hold, tournaments cancelled, concerts, Church services, Schools, social events, Amusement meccas.  There has been a run on household goods (who would have thought toilet paper would be so hard to find?).  Stories of entire grocery stores closing because they are wiped clean are circulating.

Last night newmom and I were talking and made the decision to go do a grocery run.  We really went to go get a pizza but it turned into a full on grocery shop and I was just shocked at what I saw.

This is basically what the vast majority of the store looked like.   I looked at newmom and asked her if she has ever seen anything like this…

…she answer no.  Neither of us has experienced anything like this in our lifetime.   Shelves usually stocked with options available all of the sudden empty.  Cleaned out.

And unfortunately this appears to be the new normal.

It appears this is impacting so many aspects of daily life.

I want to thank the band REM for the title of this post.  The song definitely feels right these days.  However I had to change it up a bit.  You see I developed a bug this week. Tuesday night I was right as rain, but I woke up feeling a bit beat up and a cough was starting.   I went into work Wednesday morning but left not long after I arrived.  I stayed home Wednesday and Thursday and rested.  I woke up Friday feeling like a new man.   I decided to go into work to try to get caught up on missing two days.   No fever, no fatigue, but a cough.   I was basically run out of work, guilted out of the office. Treated like a leper.  It was not pleasant.   This also appears to be the new normal.

My prayers are that we get past this, with a minimal loss of life and a lot of lessons learned.

 

Be a light

Tags

A shining light, a weary world, bad behavior, CHarlie and the chocolate factory, role model, setting example, The merchant of venice, William Shakespeare

In these dark times…

This is a screen grab from the classic Charlie and the Chocolate Factory film from 1971.  It is a classic film that I have loved all my life.  This particular scene has always moved me.  After Charlie’s Grandpa Joe says they are going to sell the everlasting gobstopper to a rival of Wonkas, Charlie makes the heartfelt decision to do the right thing.

At that moment, Gene Wilder’s Willie Wonka speaks that line.  I looked it up, its based on a line written by Shakespeare (because of course it was) and appears in his play “the merchant of Venice’.

It is a reminder to make the right choices, to do the right thing.  As a father, I want to always try to set the best example for our little guy.  I want to do those good deeds.  It is so hard sometimes when it seems that poor behavior is rewarded, when sloth and lack of effort is glossed over.

 

Be a light, make a difference in someone’s day.  Let your good deed shine in this weary world.

 

Just a heartwarming little moment to share

Tags

12 books (for real), Best Dad Ever, Bookmark, motivation, Proud moment, Surpise

Last night newmom and I were eating dinner (the little guy had already eaten) and the little guy was going through his school folder and he stops and says ‘oh dad, I have something for you. Mom, I am still working on yours’ and pulls out a small sheet of paper.

He hands it to me and when I look at it, I see this:

It was so sweet.  I LOVE IT!!!

I will use it as a bookmark, perhaps it will help kick my very behind ass in gear to start reading more.  I am still on book one for 2020 (if you recall, I committed to 12 this year)!!

Sometimes he just surprises the hell out of me, and moments like this top the charts.  I will date this and have it laminated, and use it for years to come.  I am sure there are other “best dad’s ever” out there, but you know what, I am the best dad ever for him.  There is no one that can do it better and it warms my heart to know that at least today, he thinks so as well.  I also have to say part of the surprise was that he had it for me!!

Just another proud newdad moment brought to you by our little guy!!!

ASH Wednesday (Lent is upon us)

Tags

Ash Wednesday, Giving something up, Growing up Lutheran, Holy rituals, Holy Spirit, Imposition of the Ashes, Lent, lost connection, Offended

I am a Lutheran.  My parents were married in a Lutheran Church in Gahanna Ohio.  I was baptized in that same Lutheran Church.   My first communion, my confirmation, yup, Lutheran.  You get the idea.

When you ask me “what does it mean to be Lutheran?” my answer is “I don’t really know.”  Sad, but true.  I do know that we still do many things the same Catholic church Martin Luther broke from does to this day.  One of them is observe Ash Wednesday and observe the imposition of the ashes on our foreheads.  A tradition I never bothered to observe…

…until today.   I don’t know why all of the sudden, I made the effort to make the noon Ash Wednesday service, but I did. And I am glad I did.  Recently I have really been struggling with my connection to the spirit and hearing todays sermon on the potter (in Jeremiah) was a good start on finding that connection again.

Ash Wednesday starts the observance of Lent.  Lent is 40 days long and one of the traditions of lent is to “give something up” (abstain). I have tried to do this in years past, sometimes with great success. other times failing miserably.   I am always hard pressed to find something to abstain from for 40 days.

This brings me to a great post I saw on one of my social media feeds just days ago.  It was from someone who has had a great role spiritually in my life, a pastor from AZ who was at the men’s retreat a few years ago where I rediscovered my faith. In this post he wrote about a sermon he heard where the pastor discussed bein Offended.  It read:

“In his sermon, “Offended,” Pastor Graeme says, “God wants to deal with our offendability because we are deeply loved daughters and sons of the Father who wants the very best for us.”

“Being offended is like an umbrella that can keep the rain of God from falling on our hearts.”

Pastor Graeme is inviting us as a congregation to enter into a 40-day fast from being offended during Lent; asking for and depending on Holy Spirit’s empowering presence to do so.”

I LOVED this idea.  So that is what I am going to ‘give up’ for lent this year.  I will try to not be offended or ‘butt-hurt’ by criticism, negative attitudes or comments, or other sleights against me.  That last bit from the post ‘ The Holy Spirits empowering presence’? I am DEFINITELY GONNA NEED THAT!!

 

DO you observe Lent?  Did you receive the imposition of Ashes?  DO you ‘give something up’?  Please share your stories in the comments section.  And please pray for me (if that’s your thing) cause I will appreciate all the help I can get in not getting offended.

 

 

Our little WWE fan

Tags

getting together with friends, memories, off the top rope, professional wrestling, WWE

I have a couple of friends who are just gonna love this one.

Our little guy has become OBSESSED with professional wrestling.  Not the wrestling on the mat, in the ring that is an Olympic event, but the wrestling where oiled up men and very attractive women fly through the air off of the top rope in amazing feats of acrobatics and more dropped elbows than you can withstand.

Yup, he is all in on WWE.  We watch Friday night smackdown every week.  He has his favorite wrestlers, and some he doesn’t like so much.  Every night he wants to “wrestle” which is mostly him jumping all over me and dropping knees and elbows (which sometimes hurts for REAL).  HE LOVES IT!!!  I myself have gone through phases where I was watching wrestling and have fond memories of going to a live event back in Ohio in the eighties, seeing legends like the Ultimate Warrior, the Macho Man Randy Savage and other perform live.  It was nothing like it is today, the spectacle is MUCH greater, but it was FUN and a memory I have of doing it with my brothers and Dad.

I say I have a couple friends who are going to get a kick out of this, long long ago (the early 2000’s), in a galaxy far far away (Fullerton) I used to get together with a couple of guys to watch Wrestling.  It was more an excuse to get together and drink adult beverages, but we did watch and enjoyed the spectacle.  I do miss those days, not for the wrestling, but for the comradery we shared.  One of the guys now lives in Texas, but we  drifted apart years before, the other is still in the area and we do not see each other nearly as often as we should, but we all still have those memories.

Now I get to make new memories, watching the events on the television with the little guy, oohing and aahhing with amazing flying kicks, amazing feats of stamina and dexterity and just some good old fashion wraslin’.  Every parents advise site or article will tell you to be involved with what your child is getting into, and this is bringing back some memories and giving us the chance to make some new ones.  It doesn’t hurt that I don’t hate it either.

Adventures in Baseball, spring 2020 edition

Tags

Evaluations, follow through with your statement, Great Kids, Great Support, Head Coach, Irvine Pony, Mickey Mantle, Number Seven, Spring Baseball, Yankees

Ahhh, spring has come. as Pitchers and Catchers followed by the rest of Baseball report for spring training, baseball has come to the home of newdad and newmom.  not long ago, I posted Aaaaand we’re back!! about evaluations for the Spring season.   Little did I know the adventure we were embarking on.

So at the little guys age, the division is called Pinto. In pinto there is a Kid pitch and Machine pitch sub-division.  So the top 20% of kids evaluated are sent to the kid pitch, and those outside of that range go to machine pitch.  There are multiple drills run through the evaluation process, the last of which is selected kids are asked to the mound to throw three pitches. So when it was the little guys’ turn to be evaluated, I thought he did quite well.  Last fall, he was asked to go to the mound, and he threw a couple of pitches. I totally expected him to do the same this season, and when the kids went to the moound, he was nowhere to be found.  I walked over to the dugout and he came walking out, gear packed up and on his back.  I asked him “did they call your number?”.  “Yes” he replied. “Then why aren’t you out there?” I asked, very confused. “I told them no thank you”…

..huh? “You did what?” I asked, not believing what I was hearing.

“I told them no thank you and packed up my stuff. I’m not pitching dad.” he politely explained.  “Can I get a snow cone now?” was the next question from his mouth.

“But they want to see you throw” was all I could say.  “I know, but I am not going to pitch so I told them no thank you” in the most sincere voice you can imagine coming from a seven year old.   After a long pause…

…”OK, lets get you that snow cone.”

I was astonished and absolutely impressed with him all at the same time.  I know he was polite and courteous, that’s just the kind of little guy he is.  He also stuck to his guns and did not go out to the mound.   I am also sure the evaluator probably wasn’t ready for that reaction either.

So I thought that was that. Machine pitch here we come, because that is what we asked for when registering at evaluation.

Wail for it…

…wait for it.

Wait for it…

About a week later, I along with three other dads get an e-mail from the league saying “welcome to kid pitch”…

Wait , there’s more

…because we did not get enough volunteers to head coach, and we didn’t want to turn kids away, this team was put together and because there are four dads who volunteered to assist, you should be able to figure it out.

“you should be able to figure it out”????

WHAT THE F*&K??!!!??

If a league sends out threatening e-mails saying kids are going to get turned away if they don’t get enough coaches, then follow through and turn the last 12 registrants away!!

Don’t do crap like this.

Well, I prayed on it, sent a TON of e-mails to both the league as well as the other parents and took the role of Head coach.  I have to say I was not excited about the prospect, but I remembered something my spiritual mentor and great friend says often. I don’t have to (fill in the blank of the activity in question), I GET TO (fill in the blank with the activity in question.   That kind of positivity and attitude helped me reframe my own attitude and I am excited to be a head coach.   This is my first time managing a team, and our first experience in Kid Pitch with this league.  I am BLESSED to have great assistant coaches and supportive parents.  We have had some GREAT practices so far, and our team is pretty darned good.

 

Stay Tuned for updates on how the season goes.  By the way, we are the Yankees, and the little guy is number seven, after his Papa’s favorite Yankee, Mickey Mantle.

 

 

 

A little playing around.

Tags

all the balls, baseball, football, fun, perfect moments, playing, practice, stuck in a bucket

So newmom went Christmas shopping with her mom so the little guy and I went to the park. We brought EVERYTHING: our gloves, the bucket of balls, our football, our basketball and a bottle of water.

While we were on the diamond, the little guy was trying to get out of picking up balls by saying he got stuck in the bucket.

Then he actually got stuck!! He’s gonna kill me for posting this, but it was too funny and cute not to.

These are the moments, those perfect moments we cherish.

I become a cliché’ (Dads, pay attention)

Tags

Bad Dads, Bad gifts, Cliche, GUILTY, pay attention, Perpetuating the Stereotype, Sitcom Dads, Stereotypes

there are so many dad stereotypes out there.  Perpetuated by popular culture, the dad in the sitcom is usually clueless, clumsy or the story point.  How many times have we seen the episode where the dad forgets an important date and the entire show/movie revolves around him finding the perfect gift and by the end of the show somehow comes through?  More than I would like to count.  Dads get a bad rap.

Except when they perpetuate the stereotype.   I myself have been guilty at least once (newmom insists it was more than once, but I am not really sure) of forgetting an important date, which if you know me, is out of character. I usually am pretty good about remembering birthdays and anniversaries.

Newmom’s birthday was this week and I was accused of the classic sitcom dad move of forgetting.  HOWEVER, as I was walking out the door in the morning, when newmom was still wrapped up in the covers I said “happy birthday baby, I love you.” I got a ‘mmm-hmmm’ along with a snuggle with the covers and I was off.  I called her in between meetings at work to wish her happy birthday again and see how her morning was going. She thinks I forgot and remembered during the morning. I promise I was not a sitcom dad this year!

Another stereotype we dads have to fight against is that we are TERRIBLE gifters.  What I mean is we pick poorly.  I think just about very guy who has ever given a gift has missed the mark on occasion.  This is where I am totally…

I have been on a real losing streak when it comes to giving gifts. Birthday, Anniversary, Christmas, I have just been missing the mark.  Newmom has told me “it’s because you just don’t care anymore, you don’t have to work at it anymore(giving good gifts)”. Now early in our courtship and marriage I rocked at giving gifts.  I used to pay attention to what she was looking at in stores, noticed trends in color palates that she liked, really paid attention.

I have become that cliché.  The bad gift giving husband.  And I am guilty of what I was accused of (to an extent). She was right, I wasn’t trying. This is where I implore all dads out there. DON’T BECOME THAT CLICHE’.  Take the time to watch what she picks up and looks at. Spend a second staring at her dresser and take note of what fragrances she wears (if that is her thing).  Check a tag or two and find out what size she wears.  The other advice I can give is surprise her. Gift cards to her favorite places is the easy way out. Make the effort to get her something that will show you made the effort (you may be rewarded for those efforts later!)

So this year I was not going to be that dad. I am happy to report that I was not.  She totally loved the gifts we (the little guy and I) got her. I hope I am getting that gifting mojo back that I had before. I know I will find it again. I hated to be told that I didn’t care and realizing that statement was partially right.