Fathers Day, a day where we stop and recognize and thank our fathers for the job they have done in raising us. This year was my first Fathers day and with a 9 week old, there was not a ton of “thank you”s, but there was a lot of Joy.
I have often written about the immeasurable joy Xavier provides me on a daily basis. Fathers day is where that joy is seen on a wider scale. I woke up early and went online, checked the news, checked facebook, even checked out newdadintraining. When I went back to the bedroom, the baby was not in his bassonette, nor did I see him on the bed, as Anna will set up pillows to protect him. When I climbed back in, he was sleeping across her chest. It was priceless, to see the two individuals I love more than anyone else in the world, peacefully asleep. Anna put him on my chest and he continued to just rest, it was heaven…
After we got our day started, Anna prepared a delicious breakfast and we played with the boy, and after he ate and was changed he quickly drifted off to sleep.
After his nap, he decided that he wanted to have a long conversation with me and give me my gifts.
But what he and my wife know, but will never completely ‘get’, is that he IS my gift. The greatest gift I have ever received. TO say Anna doesn’t ‘get’ it is not really right, I know she ‘gets’ it, because she feels the same, but she will never truly understand because I will never be able to find the words strong enough to convey the gratitude I have to her for giving me this glorious gift. I received a beautiful fossil watch, and it was like Anna read my mind, because I had seriously been wanting a new watch, and this one is perfect!
We were off to Anna’s Parents house to celebrate the day with the other dads in the family ( I am so thrilled to be a part of that group now!). We had a great dinner and hung out, it was great. I am fortunate to be a part of such a wonderful family and have an awesome father in law. And my Brothers in law have set the ‘Dad Bar’ pretty high themselves.
Well, with every yin, there is a Yang, with every up, there is a down. My first fathers day was not all watches and naps. As many of you know, my own father is having health issues and honestly, is not going great. When I got to speak to him in the afternoon, he was very tired but we did get to spend a few minutes together on the phone. I told him about my day and then got choked up when I told him he was weighing heavily on my mind. To say I think of him everyday is an understatement, I think of him every hour. I was barely able to get out “I just hope that I bring you the same joy Xavier brings me.” He assured me that I do, all of his boys do. We talked about my adventure so far, and how much I have loved every aspect of fatherhood, even the lack of sleep and diaper changes. He laughed. It was a great talk about not only fatherhood, but family and work and his battle against the illness he is facing. As much as I hope there will be many more, I don’t know how many more Fathers day we will get. For some time now, even before his illness, every day has been Fathers day for me when it comes to my Dad.
I love my dad, our relationship has had its rough patches, it has had its own ups and downs, but if there were a scorecard, the ups are kicking the downs’ asses. I just hope that someday Xavier will look at his own mental scorecard and feel the same.
I thought i might throw a couple more pics of me with my bundle of joy!