I have written about the ordeal my Father is currently going through, but have failed to mention my Mom. This is not by design. She is also having to go through this horrible situation along with us, but to an infinite degree of more personal impact. After all, this is her Husband, I cannot imagine having to go through this with Anna.
I wanted to write about her tonight. She was one of the very first people not inside the delivery room to see Xavier. And I was holding up pretty well until I saw her on my phone when she Skyped me (more on Skype in a second). When I saw her, I pretty much lost it. I was so filled with joy and pride, and so happy to share it with my mom. Although I did tease her a little, I only showed her the baby from the waist up. When I told her I had to go because there was soooo much going on, she said “DON’T YOU HANG UP THIS CALL UNTIL YOU SHOW ME THE IMPORTANT PART!” So she saw that my baby was indeed, a boy, and was just over the moon.
So what are the lessons? Lets begin…
PATIENCE- I was not exactly what I would have called an easy kid to raise. I am praying the curse ‘I hope your kid is just like you!’ we have all heard from our parents does not completely come true. Mom was very patient through the good and bad, and had to make some tough decisions with me, and I am grateful for the patience she showed with me, knowing what was inside, even when I didn’t. She continues to show that patience today, as I am sure my father is not exactly a great patient for all of his doctors. Now with that said, she is not a saint either, her patience has limits and I have seen it come to an end, but she has shown me great examples of patience that I know I will have to remember when dealing with being a new dad in training.
TENACITY- When I was growing up, I did not find a book I didn’t like. I read anything and everything. When i started school and I started to do very poor, she knew it was not stupidity, despite what that d-bag principal in elementary school might have told her. She fought the school district very hard until they tested me and discovered “oh your boy has a learning disability” I think her reply probably went along the lines of “no effing shit dumb asses! Now lets get something done about it.” After I was counseled and worked with, my grades went up up up. Seeing that tenacity will hopefully help me in the future as I find myself having to fight for what I know in my head and heart is true, when others may not.
SKYPE- OK, this is more a chance for her to say ‘I TOLD YOU SO!’ than a lesson. For the past couple years my mom has been skypeing to keep in touch with other relatives. She has been on my case to finally get a webcam set up and start skpyeing with her. I had been reluctant to do so, but I went out and upgraded my webcam and now skype with her and Dad almost everyday. She gets to fill us in on how things are going over there, and she gets to see her grandson everyday. So here is is, in writing even… ‘sorry for giving you such grief about Skype, you were totally right and was wrong.’
Please let me know when the smile has come off her face after reading that…
INNER STRENGTH- as I mentioned earlier in this post, she is going through a REALLY tough time, as anyone who has a loved one with advanced cancer would. But she is continuing to keep up a good attitude and try to do what is best for both my father and herself. I am sure that even she did not have any idea she was this strong and although we tell her often that she may look a little tired, she has so much strength that she may look tired on the outside, but has the inner strength to continue on.
Oh , there are so many other lessons to talk about, like how to do laundry, how to cook, the attempts on how to sew (still suck pretty bad at that one mom), but that may be for another post and time.
There are times we may not agree on everything, there are times where we may get on each others nerves, but I would never have become the person I am today, the new dad in training, the friend, the spouse, the father (still a little weird to say that) without all the lessons I have learned from her. I love her very much and hope this post has done her justice and showed that.
Luv ya mum!